I woke up in the middle of the night with the thought that my life was empty and pointless. What was the sense of going on? I who am up to my nostrils in interesting creative work, in the throes of publishing a book, about to start first revisions on a recently finished first draft of a demanding nonfiction on the Great Recession from the perspective of the affected person on the street, have recently added podcasting to my site and have moved to another city.
I had my first interview about the published book this week and it was awful. Time to wake up and speak to the world and I hadn’t really thought this over. For one thing the guy who interviewed me was not prepared, at all, or was given the wrong information. He started the interview by asking, So tell me about yourself, your business? The clock is ticking and we are on the air . . . ! What is he talking about? I don’t have a business! I started blabbering about one thing or another. It went on for 15 minutes, and then it was over.
One forgets about interviews. The person interviewing you has their own agenda, and if they can make you look like a fool why they look that much wiser. I should not have taken the bait and tried to fill the air with something, anything, when it was obvious the guy hadn’t a clue. Too eager to please, too accommodating, a little hostility would have livened things up.
What do I want to tell the world, what is my message, is the question before me. It’s not about me, it’s what needs to be said.
After I fell back asleep I had this dream about Keano Reeves, you know, the matrix guy. We are in a template that decides what we think and feel. We are all shamed, frightened into it. My message has always been that we are caught in a system, trapped and forced to act and behave in ways that are not to our benefit, which is precisely what I was doing in the interview.