the back entrance
The internet’s front parlor is great with its designs, colors, its rapid movement, its images, but the back, oh the back. It is a labyrinth of highways, byways, streets, paths. cul de sacs, dead ends. You are looking at your girlfriend without her makeup on. Wrong advance, wrong turn and you’ve completely ruined the evening and possibly the next 7 days if not more. You like her better with her makeup on; you know the score then because you’ve got your own makeup on, the impenetrable mask you choose to entertain the world with. Without the mask things can get dicey.
You’re in it, you’re committed and you’ve decided to take your mask off. You’re not doing this alone, no way. Vulnerability is best played with a partner. You want to speak the sweetest words, you want to create a new world with your partner that is all beauty and light. You cast away your past, filled as it is with loneliness, anxiety, godawful ennuie, stale compromises, warmed up leftovers and the mask’s numb fixedness with its perfected routines . . .death would have been kinder.
How did it start, this unveiling? With the mirror, of course. The image that reflects what you’re not inclined to look at, that the mask no longer works for what you want. And what you want above all else is intimacy. I AM.
You have reached the internet’s back entrance and you will find your way!