electronic derangement syndrome


Sun 7.22.18


      I am suffering from the Electronic Derangement Syndrome today.  It started this morning when my computer refused to speak or make any sound at all.  What’s up?  In an effort to add podcasting to my site, this week I started making test runs on my new mic, a CAD U37, the free downloaded software for recording and editing sounds, Audacity at http://audacity.sourceforge.net.  (This one for Macs) and a set of LyxPro HAS-10 studio monitoring headphones.  I gave up pretty quickly on Audacity what with all those icons and illuminated sound bar graphs jumping around, after repeated tries when all my recordings produced no sound, then when I figured things out, well barely, (I never read instructions, too mind numbing) the sound I was getting back from the headset was a couple of beats behind my spoken word.  So utter confusion.

      I decided to switch to the sissy Mac Quicktime Player, which after the sound problem again (my ego feels threatened by my desire to speak to the world at large and so is sabotaging my efforts to do so) I was able to record and create a sound recording of 5 words.  Quicktime is just good for practice; I doubt it could hold one of my short essays.  What’s more, you can’t pause during recording to edit or take a break because once you stop recording you can’t add more.  I have also concluded that I need a scissor arm microphone stand, you know like the radio jockeys use, because the foldout stand that comes with my mic is shit.

      I have also been having trouble with my cell phone; I couldn’t call out.  US Cellular has been allowing my people at T-Mobile, which does not have a strong signail in my area, to tap into their network, but no more.  T-Mobile sent me a Cellspot, which is a signal booster to help correct the problem.  It doesn’t work because Belkin, my Wi-Fi is past warranty and those folks don’t want to help with the hook-up.  What to do?  T-Mobile (good folks) sent me a new phone that I spent the afternoon yesterday with a techie from the Philippines transferring the data from my old phone to the new Aristo 2-plus, a much better phone,  Aristo, undoubtedly aristocratic!  And I got it free, same as the Cellspot.  The only thing I’ve done so far to it is check if I can make outside calls and haven’t done any programming yet.  But I did read some of the directions for making recordings using the Audacity software, took copious notes, drew and labeled the directional icons after which I had dinner and then watched a movie on my computer.

      I got up late this morning and after breakfast booted up the computer.  Guess what?  No sound!  I have spent the day crawling on the floor among the wires, trying to figure things out.  The HP printer, the Wi-Fi, the Logitech speakers, the Cellspot, the mic, the lamps, the Ooma Telo wires for my VoIP phone, the headset, the usb wiring, the Ethernet cables.  After all this work in which I decided to pack up the now useless Cellspot, get rid of a faulty surge protector power strip and also a Samsung DVD player, I discovered the problem of why my computer was not producing sound, I had not checked the speaker’s volume knob!

      Do you have days like that?  I read an article in the New Yorker about this guy who goes by the moniker of Ice Poseidon and has a channel on Youtube.  His gig is IRL streaming.  Remember the girl who had a camera in her dorm room and was live streaming what went on in it?  IRL, i. e. in real life, is a view of Ice’s, whose name is Paul Denino, life on a daily basis, well, as much as he cares to share.  And he shares a lot.  The guy has over a million fans and is raking in $65,000 a month.  A skinny, nerdy California guy with a big nose and a snappy patter sprinkled with DUDE’s, and YO’s, he comes off as likeably weird.  He takes his iphone camera and carries his $2000 broadcasting equipment in a backpack and goes out to film whatever he chooses to record, dinner at a restaurant, hitting on women in the street, shopping.  Not always appreciated by others.  Then his followers like to swat (prank) him.  He’s had to move 6 times in the past year because the followers send people to his apartment to prank him, cops, fire fighters, delivery folks.  Landlords are not impressed.  His gig is a variation on the Kardashian performance.  The following video is a compilation of the swattings he’s received, to the side of the unfolding action are the fans who respond to it, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bH4J9Jhxa9M.  A weird and funny guy who’s found his way in capitalist America.  The clip I’ve posted is not typical. It just shows the extent folks will go for a laugh.  Others are more fun.