big city

Moving, Anxiety, Portland-ME


Sun 1.6.19


      First post of the year and the news, let us pause a moment for blaring of trumpets, I’m moving to the big city!  Well, not exactly a big city, but Maine’s biggest and hippest city, Portland.  It is where I got my undergraduate degree at the University of Southern Maine.  Camden has been very good for my writing as there is nothing to do here that is not oriented towards families and kids.  No sitting in cafés drinking latte, schmoozing with acquaintances.  And without a car it’s been murder.  Going to the library was a two mile jaunt, one to get there and one to come back.  Getting food was another 2 mile walk.  I now have killer gastrocnemius muscles.  I could have gotten a car, but the thought of being strapped to those machines after jumping on the subway for years to get to where I wanted did not tempt.  Cars are outrageously expensive now and the expense of maintaining them is as costly as having a child, the insurance, inspection sticker, winterizing it, repairs, hunh-unh!  Camden had no public transportation whatsoever, not even taxis.  People in Maine whose towns have public transportation will not use it even though great savings could accrue from it.  Only the poor and the old avail themselves. 

            Also there are no shopping venues in the area.  In order to have my hair colored (red) and cut once a month I had to travel to another town which generally cost me about $30 to $40 to get there and back.  And once I got to the hair stylist in Rockland if I wanted to visit other services, I would have to pay a taxi to bring me there and then back again to the stylist where I was scheduled to be picked up.  Amazon and I have become great business buddies.  I am considered a very good customer and am offered deals.  Shopping at Amazon is a gamble.  Who knows what you’ll get in the mail.  Thank god for my sewing machine as I’ve had to take in a lot of clothes.  Some stuff you get isn’t really worth sending back so you put it out for others who might be interested.

            Moving is a big job.  I’ve been saving boxes for a year now waiting and hoping for this.  But it’s winter and trying to take down the gazebo yanking it from the frozen ground It refused to accommodate and ended being trashed.  Chloe the cat, having been through this moving business, considering she was a stray when I got her and we’ve moved 6 times since then her abandonment fears are already kicking up.  She does not like change at all.  She gets upset if I move a chair.  Seeing me the past two days hauling in outdoor furniture, she is freaked.

            I am too a little bit.  Although I went to school in Portland all I knew of the city was that area and the Old Port.  So a lot to learn.  But it’s good and I’m glad.  Already experiencing the detachment feelings.  I’m not here anymore shortly my experience of living in the town will be swallowed up.  I was never there, erased.  Life moves on and the person who lived in Camden dies and another is formed for the new adventure, something I have apparently been preparing for all along.