The rut.  That which one slips into without choosing or being aware of, where the world comes in three colors only, red when you become agitated, angry, gray when depressed, or beige, the spiritless life of going through the motions, getting up, washing the face, the coffee, thus the day begins.  You look out your window at the parade of cretins passing by with similar boring lives and you fire up the computer.  The world’s crisis mode of people getting killed, the treachery, betrayals, the pontifications of corrupt society where every message is always the correct one, and no one ever admits error or false judgment.  Whatever happened to the vulnerable?  They have all been wronged, raped, are now afflicted, jaded.

      Compassion is now twisted into something that becomes a tool to be used for one’s benefit.  Victimhood has a profit margin and can be used to advance any number of causes, and manipulation has reached such levels of sophistication as to turn a pumpkin into Cinderella’s regal coach, or a rat into glitterati.  What is your shelf life, baby?  How can you be, as in being, in a world that has you priced, labeled, packaged, as red, grey or beige?

      NPC anyone?  Easily manageable and acceptable, and safe in the beige world.  You don’t have to think it out, just go with the program.  Isn’t that how one gets ahead?  The problem with that stance is that it’s a trap, a weapon that can be used against you when the current zeitgeist changes, and you are held up to scorn or worse for your meaningless pontifications.  The susceptible folks crack up under the strain and go postal.  It starts earlier now reaching to the grade school level with kids exhibiting uncontrolled rage.

      How to get back to innocence, joy, spontaneity, to real life?  You need to file for divorce.  You need to get back to who you are, and fuck the society you live in.  It is one sick world.  You have to get back to reality.  You know, the reality when you become aware that you can’t keep doing what you’re doing.  You have to sit in your little room alone for a while until the cleansing process unfolds and you have flushed the role you inhabited for so long that you lost the real world. And when you step out again you’ve reverted to your vulnerable, authentic self, and reclaimed the true strength you once had, back to when you had nothing to lose, were willing to take your chances come what may.  Alive!